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Redneck Jokes
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it
becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and
shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and
quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent
spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly
back to his table..... His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain' t niver
seed nobody do it!'
*****
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He
was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to
catch those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must
understand, these here are my pet fish.' 'Pet fish?' Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the
lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests
and I take 'em home. 'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that. The redneck looked at the warden for
a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.' 'O. K.', said the
warden. 'I've got to see this!' The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After
several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?' 'Well, what?,' says the redneck. The warden says, 'When are you
going to call them back?' 'Call who back?' 'The FISH,' replied the warden! 'What fish?,' replied the redneck.....
*****
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it
becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and
shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and
quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent
spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly
back to his table..... His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain' t niver
seed nobody do it!'
*****
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He
was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to
catch those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must
understand, these here are my pet fish.' 'Pet fish?' Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the
lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests
and I take 'em home. 'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that. The redneck looked at the warden for
a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.' 'O. K.', said the
warden. 'I've got to see this!' The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After
several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?' 'Well, what?,' says the redneck. The warden says, 'When are you
going to call them back?' 'Call who back?' 'The FISH,' replied the warden! 'What fish?,' replied the redneck.....
*****